Guiding, Not Deciding: How Parents and Caregivers Can Collaborate with Their Students When Choosing a Major
Families and prospective students focus a tremendous amount of attention on the importance of choosing a major even before enrolling in college. But data shows that exploring academic paths, rather than committing to one early, can be the smarter play. Students who declared their major in their first semester of college and never changed it graduated at a lower rate (79%) than students whose final declaration came in their second semester or later (83%), according to data from EAB, a higher education research firm.
The common anxiety that underlies the choice of a major assumes that there’s a perfect match out there for everyone and students shouldn’t waste time with the wrong one. But this research points to a different truth: It’s not about the major a student lands on but rather how they get to that decision.
How families can help students navigate their major choices
In short, families can best help their students by backing off when it comes to choosing a major. A study published in the Journal of Vocational Behavior found that students who choose their major based on personal interest and career goals, rather than to satisfy parents or authority figures, showed higher academic commitment. They also showed greater confidence in their career decisions by their final year. The lesson: The major a student picks matters less than whether they feel they’ve made that decision on their own.
But that doesn’t mean parents and caregivers must — or even should — stay silent. Here are some ways families can help frame students’ thinking in a way that encourages them to move toward a decision rather than getting stuck:
Instead of making statements, ask questions. Try to get students to think about what an experience felt like rather than what it could lead to (e.g., instead of saying “You did well at calculus. You should think about engineering,” ask, “What did you like most about that calculus class?”). Interest is a better predictor of follow-through than hypothetical job prospects.
Accept “I don’t know” as a real answer. It’s normal for college students not to be clear on what they want to do with their lives. Parents and caregivers must resist the urge to rush a student’s decision to calm their own anxieties.
Be curious, not judgmental, about student interests. If a student is leaning toward an academic or career path that a parent or caregiver doesn’t think is “right” for them, ask questions. Learning the student’s “why” about their major choice is usually more informative than the major itself.
Remember that a major change isn’t a warning sign. Many students need to explore different academic paths before landing on the right fit. Some universities, like Stevens, account for this explicitly. Students entering the Charles V. Schaefer School of Engineering and Science don’t have to declare their major until the start of their fourth semester. Those in Stevens’ School of Humanities, Arts, and Social Sciences can remain undecided on a major for their first two years before locking in their degree program. In both cases, students work closely with academic advisors to make choices about their course selections.
Keep major discussions casual
Low-pressure conversations with students spread out over months can be more impactful than a one-time, “What will you do with your life?” showdown. When students talk about possible plans of study, the best response is a question, not a declaration. Parents and caregivers can and should share their own perspectives, but they must recognize that those opinions are just one of many data points that students should take into account. The goal isn’t to arrive at the right major but instead give the students confidence that they can figure it out on their own. That’s a skill that will serve them long after they earn their degree.
